The whole month of October is dedicated to Bully Prevention across our country. As a school we focus on this topic quite a bit, but set a side October and March to really focus on the issue. Over the next month we will be posting free information to help parents find resources for their child. We have been advocates for children's rights and safety for over 30 years. Please join us in sharing this information so no child must suffer in silence. Thank you Master T
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I am not going to lie. After 39 years of teaching martial arts my first name (Brent) sounds weird when people call me by it. I know that may seem strange so I make a joke out of it in class. If someone answers me with Yep or Uh huh I often say those are my cousins from down south or Canada. It's not an ego thing mind you, it's a matter of simple courtesy. I never in a million years would have thought calling me by my first name would do have made me feel strange. Sir, Mr. Tibbetts, Master T are all the norm to me. At home I never hear my name it's always Dad, honey, sweetheart and so on. I guess because nobody ever calls me by Brent that when I do hear my name it makes me ignore it at times. Not on purpose but because it seems like it's maybe somebody else they are talking to. In a way being of service to others has made me lose my name and I kind of like it!
It's tough to make friends. It's even tougher to make good friends. One of the big changes we have made in the past five years at our school is to understand that socially things have changed dramatically. It's not for me to judge whether it's good or bad that things have changed, but to instead adapt to my students needs. I recognized that many of my students struggled to make friends outside of class. We decided to tackle that issue head on and here is what we did. We decided that we would have more activities at our school that invited the friends of our students. We broke them up by age so that they could relate to others in their peer group more easily and just had fun. The other unique thing we do is that we did not market or try and recruit them as students. Did that get you to scratch your head a bit? I know it fly's in the face of conventional marketing wisdom, but at the the same time it makes for a different experience for both the new friends and our school. It's honest and it's a great service to help our students interact with others they may never meet. Socializing is now something that is focused on in each and every class because martial arts should go beyond just kicking and punching. Until next Master T
We are getting ready to start our Krav Maga program tomorrow and I am over the moon! I have been teaching this style of training since 1996 and have worked with many of the pioneers in the field of Reality Based Martial Arts. The one thing I notice is that everyone who comes to train in this type of program does it out of fear. It can be as simple as the fear of not being sure how to defend themselves or their loved ones or something more sinister. You see some people love fear. They love to talk about all this drama and negative stuff so they can justify their fear and then they do the most dangerous thing of all. They do nothing about it. When things are important to you in life, family, health, finances, relationships or even improving who you are, you will find the time and a way. Don't forget that the most powerful investment you can ever make is in yourself. When your the best version of you, then the whole world benefits. So step up and lean into what's holding you back. Sorry, what was your fear excuse again........ and can somebody help me down off this soap box?
I am pretty fortunate in that I can eat breakfast for every meal. I know it sounds boring but I absolutely love breakfast. For some odd reason I would take it over any other meal of the day and I am not picky when it comes to breakfast food either. As long as it is cooked and has some sort of bacon flavored bacon in it I am good. I guess thats why I have such a stick to it attitude about things especially martial arts. Some people aren't so stuck in their ways and often they are looking for the next big thing. Many times when things get tough they get going. I mean literally. I lose a few students at each belt testing. Not because we haven't covered the material in class needed to test or that we haven't give them videos or even the opportunity to have one on one lessons for free to make their goals. Nope that's not it. It's the only test I know of that you have 3 months to study for and you already have the answers and people coaching you on what to study. Nope it's not martial arts or the classes thats the problem. The problem really is with perseverance. I once read that Harvard does everything in their power to make sure everyone that wants to put in real effort is met with same level of support so that they can graduate. That means if you want to do the work they will make sure you get the help you need. I have used that philosophy for 20 years and up until recently have noticed a change. Some parents understand that things today are different and that maybe some of things that came naturally to us when we were younger have to be relearned. I mean Adulting is a thing nowadays where your taught how to sew a button or change a car tire and it's huge on Youtube. It's not easy to understand that obstacles are meant to teach us if we let them. That failure happens for us not to us. Sometimes falling off the bike is the only way we learn balance and sometimes struggling helps to find empowerment. The thing that you think is problem or is the obstacle really isn't the issue. The real issue is cultivating the power of perseverance. I promise you when you do understand that power that life will open up to you in ways you never believed possible. All good things take time.
I just filled out 15 birthday cards this morning for my students and I loved it! Each card I fill out I try and do something personal to remind them how much I appreciate and love them. Today I did a little doodle of a stick person doing karate and told them they are awesome. I traced my hand the other day to give a student a high five via the card. I wrote a students name 50 times on a card so when they got to the end I made sure I had their attention. I also make check lists, tell jokes and I always remind them how grateful I am that they allow me to be a part of their life. Yes they allow me to be a part of their life is the correct verbiage. They can always be a part of mine but I have to earn the right to stay in theirs. I take that very seriously and maintain that level of humility in all that I can and will do for them. They decide to be my students and for that I am grateful. I tell them I love them all the time and they look at me weird like the word love is exclusive to parents and grandparents. I try and make them aware that love is why I do what I do. Love is the answer to all the worlds problems and most importantly it's the reason I get to write them a birthday card. I'll keep saying it until they believe it when I am no longer able to say it anymore. The best gift I can give them on their special day is for them to know that I think they are pretty amazing and that I am so very proud to be a part of their lives.
I am going to start saying I teach Leadership Kwon Do to theses unassuming folks (in a polite way of course)! I picture the blank look that will follow so I will undoubtedly explain as follows. You know the kind martial arts style that makes you walk through life’s ups and downs with your chin up. I teach secret techniques that inspires your family and friends daily. The style of martial arts that gives you the drive to be better than you were yesterday. It’s the self reliant kind of martial arts style that gets you out of life's difficult situations that other people would hide from. Or my personal favorite the martial arts style of leadership that gives you the courage to follow your dreams. At this point the confused person in front of me or on the phone will say “oh thats cool, my second cousin on my aunts side did (insert mispronounced something here) martial arts. The next question they always ask is how much are your classes? I politely smile on the inside because free would still be to expensive for both of us. Reread the above and tell me what you think these lessons and this style of martial arts is worth? I would say priceless but then again maybe I teach the wrong “style” of martial arts for you.
*Author note: From time to time I do get this question from serious enthusiasts or thorough parents, but for the most part it’s from tire kickers. Those are the parents looking for a Groupon type activity and not looking for the life enhancing benefits of martial arts for their child. If your reading this than you already know about Leadership Kwon Do. I have a very male energy about me and that can be a bit intimidating at times. On the inside I am just a big soft hearted guy. I love what I do and love the people that appreciate my efforts. I struggle in non martial arts settings to connect with people and thats alright. Most people never pull back the curtain understand that it took a lifetime to do what I am able to do today. I truly do mean a lifetime and that's not just an expression. I have spent the last 40 years learning and applying my craft, I have traveled thousands of miles to learn and compete, I have slept in my car and on the floors of strangers to learn, I have spent more money than I care to remember to educate myself to become a better teacher, I have broken many bones and bled to learn from some of the greats, I have been taken advantage of financially and intellectually by others, I have taken countless notes, spent money on programs and things I never used, I have spent 15- 20 hours a day training to learn new material to pass on, I have been up all night to help grow my school and provide the best lessons possible, I have had students pass away, I have spent holidays away from my family, I have worked two and sometimes three full-time jobs to get by, I have had to start over many times to be where I am today. You see I believe in you. I don't teach an "activity" or ancient mystic art. I teach faith. All the lessons I have learned have been about faith. Faith in myself is the deepest lesson I have been given through martial arts. I have give up so much to give the lesson of faith to you. Sometimes I have gone with out just so I could give to you. Faith and time is all I have ever had and is all I can ever give. The vehicle is martial arts of course but the values and the lessons took a lifetime to learn. In life we are lucky to meet people that believe in us. When we find those people we need to learn as much as we can while we can. Things change and people change. Faith in yourself should never change. I hope ego and pride won't steal your faith. I will keep trying to teach my lessons learned. I hope you do too.
This is one of my favorite topics to challenge parents on. Now before you go and leave a bunch of comments about the importance of education and such, I ask that you open your mind for one minute. I agree that good grades are important. I would also challenge you and say that pulling your child out of activities that support positive and life changing improvement is not a punishment, but a failure to see the long game. Martial arts and the lifetime benefits of a role model is much more valuable to the success of your child in life than any bad grade your child will ever get. Here's why and see if you don't agree. Believe or not by the time your child is a teenager you are no longer the primary influence in their lives (it's their friends, media and their social life). I agree that you have to turn in your assignments, behave in class and participate in classroom discussions, those are a given. Grades on the other hand are individual and some students just can't grasp the concept taught at that time. Some students excel, some students get by and others are left behind. When it all shakes out in the wash, some people go to college and some work for others and a few start their own business. Which one is right and which one is wrong has nothing do with you as a parent anymore. Instead we are only their for guidance and support. Hopefully you kept your child surrounded by and involved in activities that prepare your child for life. Positive role models in your child's life will outlast your child's days in high school. The challenges your child will face in life will take a different skill set than they were taught in a classroom. A positive role model is a priceless advantage you can give to someone. Times will get tough and when they need to remember a life lesson to support them on how to get through it. Parents you will be glad that they had someone positive to look up to when this time comes. So the next time your child's report card looks a little dire remember that it may not be the best idea to remove them from a positive environment as a form of punishment.
So your son or daughter is having the best time ever with their friends outside and they hear those dread words. "Time to get ready for Karate!" All of a sudden the castles and dragons they built all day collapse, the adventures hit a brick wall, and the best day ever gets a cold bucket of make believe water thrown on it. All because of stupid Karate. The next statement by the child is time tested to get parents to given in and is "I don't like Karate anymore its boring" followed by the ever pliable parent way of thinking "well I don't want my child to things they don't like, even though I think it's really good for him or her." And so ends another martial arts students brief time in something thats really good for them followed by the post regret. Flash forward and in 15 years when we meet again the child now and adults says "you know I wish I wouldn't have quit I would be a Black Belt by now" statement. Now I wonder if the parents allow their child to apply that same logic to school (The teachers hate me, its boring, I try so hard but I still get bad grades) or to a job or vegetables, house work, relationships and on and on. Remember the other day when you were complaining about this generation of kids and how they don't do this or don't respect that? Well welcome to the mess you have enabled to a certain extent (insert sarcasm and loving smile). In fact we all have to certain degree including me forget to hold our ground from time to time. So you get where I am going with this right? Quitting isn't the answer nor is forcing them to do a healthy, positive, life changing activity like Karate. So what's the solution? About an hour or so before whatever the activity or event is start a countdown. You have 45 minutes until we leave for (insert whatever your going to do -Grocery Shopping-Sisters Ballet) Karate. Now that alone works pretty well but to go Master Level you need a bit more cunning. About 30 minutes before you get ready to leave you pick a chore your child hates and struggles with. You make them do it for that 30 minutes until it is done perfectly and correctly. No skimping or letting them off the hook by doing an okay job (I mean come one your getting a chore done)! If it takes longer than 30 minutes than of course they must keep doing the chore and another dreaded chore in place of going to Karate. Now when Karate is the saving grace from picking up dog you know what in the back yard in 85 degree temps for an hour its easier to get them to want to go. You could change it to reading, doing dishes, taking out garbage, vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms. The choice is always theirs and they learn the value of budgeting time, doing chores (without pay) to help the family and perspective on things that positively impact their life. You won't get that from any other sport or activity, trust me. It doesn't take long to mold positive behavior but I can take a lifetime to correct the negative ones.
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AuthorBrent Tibbetts (Me) Archives
November 2018
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