Is your child coachable?

Last week I did video blog about is your child coachable?  I received a lot of feedback from students and parents.  Usually students rarely watch those videos so it was refreshing to hear them say that they "saw me" on Facebook.  The idea of the video was giving your child the mindset to succeed by learning to be mentored.  Many times children take instruction or corrections as criticism.  This form of "help" becomes like a callus.  A callus is something that builds up from friction and repeated use.  It's meant to protect the area that could be damaged by repeated use.  This allows for removal from the pain from a child's perspective.  At home it leads to acting out or even the opposite action of isolation.  The key is to get the child to understand that you are on their side.  You want to be the passenger in life while they are on their journey, someone that is just along for the ride.  Every now and then we break out the map to ask where we are going.  Maybe we ask a question, get excited about the possibilities, ask their opinion or for ideas.  After they trust you and they believe that you are part of the journey (not hijacking or steering it) and then and only then does mentoring at this age have a chance.  Try to soon its an attack on them and it hurts.  If you try mentor to late then they are set in their ways and already know better.  in case you are unsure how we do it our school we use the trust method.   We plant an idea.  We tell them they can reach a little goal first.  We adjust and set a new goal.  After a while we have momentum and they ask for advice and help because their goal is important and they know that I am only their as a passenger.  It works you really well and you may want to give it a try.  It's a long slow process but thats part of awesomeness of being a parent and teacher.